Year’s End Reflection

In which I simply cannot believe that 2012 is over.

Things here are feeling a bit surreal. I feel like I’ve missed the months since we’ve closed on our house — how is it already the end of the holiday season? Life has been a challenging, full, exciting whirlwind recently, and I for one am exhausted. Tomorrow I’ll be full of new year’s excitement, plans, and re-commitment to my goals. But today, I’m just in the mood to glance back over the past year.

I haven’t been too closely focused on the nuts and bolts of my 101 list recently, but the tone of it has certainly colored my life.  And the numbers are adding up in my favor: I completed 16 items from my list this year, though three were goals that I also completed prior to this year. I’m currently working toward — or have previously worked on — 27 items. I worked on three blog challenges with the best friend and the lovely Katie W.

This year I have become more content with my days. I still have some periods of stress, and I definitely still get the blues, especially regarding my job, but I have also been able to enjoy the good things more intensely. I am slowly becoming more mindful and balanced from day to day. It’s a weird thing, actually, because I regularly hold two conflicting beliefs simultaneously: that I am losing control of things and that it’s my control that is making things happen. The transition to this house was challenging, and I really felt like everything was slipping out of place around me. But my strict control over our savings and budget absolutely created the opportunity to buy our house and then jump in with a lot of improvements and personalizations. (Of course, the hubs played a big hand in that as well, but when it comes down to it, I was the one who applied for our mortgage, pulled together the vast majority of the paperwork, and ran the numbers incessantly to make sure that we knew exactly how much we were biting off and how we would chew it.) So I think that I’ve identified what works for me, and it’s very hard for me when I get away from those comfortable habits.

I’ve spent the last half of this month trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it is the holidays, and trying to slow down. I think that I’m finally in a good place to face the new year, just in time.

So long, 2012! You’ve been grand.