I Have my Moments: Week 4

In which I reflect on a final week for a challenge I issued to myself, Katie W., and the best friend.

These are the moments that struck me from last week…

… to live in a home that fits the best of us.
Last week, I just felt lucky to live in a house that was still focused on us. Despite years of planning and research for buying a house, years of choosing what we really wanted and needed, and making a reasonable purchase that didn’t stretch our money or seem to require too much work … buying and moving into this home has been such a challenge to our relationship. We’re working to make the house reflect our style and our lives, but it has been challenging to keep any of that joy or perspective in our daily dealings with each other. At the end of the day, we’re always grateful for the work the other has put in and, of course, thrilled in our choice of mate in general. But in the middle of the day, it’s been more likely to hear streams of cursing and frustration than any expression of love or affection. (Not aimed at each other, but we do a lot of avoiding each other during those times to keep that from happening.) So, our home is turning into proof of how good we are together even when we’re not good to each other. I don’t think that’s particularly the best of us, but it is light at the end of this tunnel, at least. I’ve heard that getting married, buying a house, and having a kid are the three most common stressful periods in a couple’s lives … I believe it!
… to feel awesome.
I’m going with something entirely shallow: I got dressed up for one day last week, and it was a treat to feel put together and attractive. Definitely not something I’ve been thinking recently in my paint-covered, grubby clothes.
… to have routines that support but not restrict me.
I’ve been working on a new routine this week. After the hubs leaves for work for the day, I take my first cup of tea into the room we’ve got set up as a library and read or work on my computer. (I’m writing this in the library now.) It’s my favorite room in the house by a lot, and I enjoy taking a bit of time each morning to relax before the rest of the day. I’m not sure how that will fit in with my eventual return to exercising in the morning, but I’m sure that I can have both moments, even if I have to slightly reduce my relaxation time.
… to be active and present in my life.
I feel like I’m missing this one a bit these days, since I’ve been so focused on our to-do list. I’ve been stretching towards this or that being completed, and not really taking joy in the regular days. I hope that trend is on the down-swing now, as I’m really making progress on the house chores and planning to host friends and family this weekend to celebrate. I think that will be the turning point to getting my focus back in the present.
… to live broadly.
To celebrate being free of our townhouse, which really became a weight after we gave our notice and our management office stopped being nice to us, the hubs and I headed out to a community theatre production of AIDA. The show was … ambitious. We had a great time, but we enjoyed some scenes for reasons that I don’t think they intended. It was a small production of a show I know well, but I made an effort, and it was broader than my recent focus. And it did remind me how important it is to remember that the chore will wait until tomorrow some of the time.

One thought on “I Have my Moments: Week 4

  1. Good for you avoiding each other! I know that sounds so strange, but I think it’s impressive because it’s so easy to yell at the person who’s there even if they have NOTHING to do with the frustration. Overall, this was a great challenge and I’ve loved your weeks. I think it’s even better because you were in the middle of so much! I’m impressed!

    And so excited about tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (there aren’t enough exclamation points in the world)

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